Voices In the dark:

Tulpas

The other night, I was writing a scene for Volume IV of The Hunted having to do with a voice shouting for a character from a supposed empty home. While I was getting deep into the scene, I started hearing a muffled voice from my basement. Everyone in the house was asleep, and there weren’t any TV’s on or music playing. It sounded like it was coming from somewhere in the house. I reached into my desk drawer to grab my 9mm pistol, and began searching the house room by room. I turned out all the lights to make sure I had the advantage. It isn’t easy to maneuver through the house in the dark, but I work at night so my eyes adjusted quickly. Plus, I know the layout of my house. After a thorough search, I didn’t find anyone or any signs of anyone.

I went back down to the basement, and started to write again. Within a few minutes, I heard it again. I was convinced it came from outside this time. I had put my shoes on before I came back downstairs so I was ready to go. I grabbed my 9mm once again—this time I had it resting next to my keyboard. I ran up the stairs, quietly unlocked the back door, and then booked it to that side of my house. Again, nothing there. Now I’m not one to hear voices in my head, and this isn’t the first time weird things have happened in or near this house since I’ve lived here. I’ll get to those some other time, but this was quickly becoming one of the stranger things that have happened here.

The worst part about it is, I didn’t know what it was saying. It didn’t sound human. It was muffled but loud enough to come through the walls, if it was in fact outside. I write horror fiction and have seen a lot of crazy shit in my life, so I wasn’t shaken up or scared by this. Even if I didn’t own a firearm, I would have run outside in the middle of the night to confront whatever or whoever it was. It’s not a flex, it’s just who I am—I have a family to protect.

When I got back in the house, I decided there wasn’t anything corporeal out there or in my house trying to attack me or my family. My fandom of the strange and unknown kicked in, so I got on Google and spent a few hours researching what it could’ve been.

Tulpa—or Thought-form, is the closest thing I could relate it to. A Tulpa, if it’s real, (which I’m not sure about), is like having another person living within you or in an object, or a demon-like creature. The term thought-form is where this comes into play for me, and is what makes me consider Tulpa being the culprit. Tulpas are said to be manifested inside one’s unconscious. So while I was writing that scene for my book, I could have been unconsciously creating or awakening this Tulpa and that’s what I was hearing. Not voices in my head or some creepo outside. But a manifested demon or spirit trying to talk to me—manifested by me.

I’ve always said that while I’m writing my stories, I’m not really sitting at the computer anymore. I mean, I am, but I look forward at the screen and my fingers are moving, but my mind isn’t in the room. I’m sort of in the story I’m writing. Not as a character, but I’m there and I think this opens my mind up to all sorts of things. I wouldn’t refer to this as a form of religious mysticism, but there is potential in thought-forms to be on a spiritual level. This tracks due my meditative-state whilst writing. It’s almost like an out of body experience or an awakening to another dimension, or multiverse— like my mind is on or in a different plane of existence. Being in this state of mind, and writing about the voice shouting to my character in the book could easily be the manifestation of this Tulpa. I’m honestly expecting it to reveal itself again while I’m writing this piece.

A quick note to make here:

The Tulpa didn’t reveal itself again while I wrote and edited this piece. I’ll wager it was either a one-time thing, or because I was expecting it to happen this time.

Demon or Imaginary Friend?

I’d place Tulpas in the imaginary friend category—a haunting and disturbing imaginary friend though. I wouldn’t rule them out as being demons, and from a little Googling around, I’ve seen there are many different levels and scenarios when it comes to Tulpas and their creators. If we believe them to exist, then they exist. When we forget about them… what happens to them then?